Just this week I found out that a family member is very sick. I usually respond internally with fragments of controlled calm energy, miring the bevy of nervous & uncomfortable feelings. In times past, I would continue along with my life, engaging with my uncomfortable feelings in moments, and then letting them go to focus on my present. Back and forth, back and forth in this process of managing, for many years it has been my recipe. When hearing the news this week, I began following my usual regimen, only to pop myself out of it. "Hey, I do have some friggin' control here. I'm going to do an energy healing! Let's work this shit out!"
Awesome. So, I went into my meditative place and began calling in the spirit of my family member. As with all instances of energy work where the person has not asked me directly to work with them, I check in with guides to ask permission to do the work, making sure it was appropriate for me to move forward with the healing. Immediately, I got the answer, "No." I double checked with all of my guides, "No." I could not move forward with healing. I have had this experience before and, in such circumstances, I stop all energy work and back out of the situation. I understand that I need to respect the other's process and their lessons, and also not incur karma for myself. This time, though, I was left confounded. How could I not help? I have this ability to do healing work, but it is not for this time? My knowledge of managing the esoteric has no space here. Life paths are not up to me but the individual. No control to help. No control to help. Gotta let go. Gotta let go. Gotta let go.
I have spent the last few days going over it in my head. I know I have proceeded exactly as I am meant to as I respect my guides and their information. They are the bridge between me and the utterly unknown. In this case, the path of my family member is for her and her information and her learning and her time. The only confidence I have is that the situation will be taken care of in perfect harmony with the path of Nature. All there is for me to do is sit back, find some peace with my vulnerability, and live in love.