The original post listed below and published March 21, 2015, came to mind as I was sorting through this current conundrum.
Change comes when we release resistance to the fact that we know it's on the way.
I had class today at the Reno Psychic Institute. In all the energy I worked and info I received, I came back to the fact that it's time to let go and let change happen.
Learning through the chaos of change is a lot easier when we decide to roll with it.
Raise the flags, sound the horns! So, SunMoonStarsTidesWeatherPlanetsGalaxy...Life, I am ready for whatever your about to drop. I've been resisting for way to long. It's time to Roll."
Chaos shows up when we have a big shift in life, or as a reaction to a lot of little shifts that we haven't yet managed. Sometimes the feelings are expressed as irritability, tiredness, feeling like our time is not our own, meeting others' priorities first, and/or a simple loss of space and time for ourselves to reflect on the changes that have occurred.
Sift through by finding someplace quiet.
When I was in this feeling recently, I went to the river. I stood on a bridge above it and looked downstream. I just stood there, for a while, and watched the river. At first there was the day's to-do list in my head. Then there was the feeling of being pinched in place by all the things I needed to do but felt like I didn't have enough time to do. I felt the irritability and the tired and the frustrated all compounded into one block of blah.
Give ourselves time.
I continued to watch the river. I didn't let myself off the hook, I didn't let myself feel entitled by irritable and grumpy. That entitlement circle is a constant U-Turn to nowhere helpful. I sat in the feeling of blah, all the while attempting to match the energy of the water flowing downstream.
When we've hit stubborn, we've gotten somewhere!
Finally, I got to stubborn, someplace useful. Paired with stubborn is defensiveness and it is the best indicator of a feeling in which we do not want to connect. Usually this travels with vulnerabilities that need attention, recognition, and time to heal.
Let's explore the stubborn..
Still staring at that damn river and not at all feeling zen about it, I decided to sit with the stubborn and see where it got me. I noticed pictures of myself with a life plan that was a bit different than what I am actually living. The paths are running parallel, with my old vision of myself on one line and what I am actually living on another. No one likes to feel in multiple places at once but when we are in chaos, that is what we are doing: we are on a different adventure that what we had planned for ourselves.
Evaluate what is just beyond stubborn.
I got super real, down into my bones. Why was I attached to that old path? What did it hold that I am missing now? Do I need those bits? If so, can I make room for all of them or maybe I just need to integrate some of them? If not, why am I clinging onto an old path that doesn't really hold the same value as the current one? And here is where I hit it: I am being challenged and pushed to grow in ways I didn't anticipate but know I needed for my larger life picture.
When we let go of old pictures of ourselves, the chaos feeling will subside.
I was still staring at that beloved, damned, river. I got to some good information and I felt just the beginning of flow as the river was trying to scream at me in demonstration. This was the moment I began to release chaos resistance. There was nothing particularly special or "ah-ha" about this moment. I did the work in myself and the next step was to create my new picture and step forward with it in increments and with patience. It is going to take time and a re-figuring of my priorities. I'm up for it.
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